will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
