Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
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yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
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he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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