i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
