Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
