There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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