i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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