Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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