Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
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I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
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We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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