Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
