You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
