I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
