He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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