We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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