we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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