i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize