It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
