I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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