I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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