I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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