i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I got inside last night via doggy door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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