u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You smell like a Billy Joel song
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
