youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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