she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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