is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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