There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
