Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
