So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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