This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
