He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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