operation harelip BJ is a go
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize