I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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