Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
