she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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