Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
