you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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