I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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