Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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