Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
