I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
