oh god the rape fog is back!
I wish i was in the wii world.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
