I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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