So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
