new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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