why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
