Will you blow on my dice?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
BRING THE BAGELS
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
