I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
