I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
