I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
