i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize