i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
