like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
