oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
