I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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