Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
