sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
