Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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