two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
