somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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