that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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