I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
