when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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