that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
