What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
no. you can't hotbox the world.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
