if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
