your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
