i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
