I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
