Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
