if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
