hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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