i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
How external is "for external use only"?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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