with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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