I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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